Atop the Half Second Perch

The metaphor ending the last post was an apt one: setting sail.  A lot of work needs to be done before one can actually set sail.

My family began the process of setting sail, beginning our transition just after Easter. The word "Challenging" doesn't begin to do justice to the obstacles that needed to be overcome in order to cut free and find open water.  That is a story onto itself, for another day.

To set sail one must have a ship. Captain Kirk had his "Enterprise." The Supreme Commander and I  needed a vessel equal to our own needs for our transitions and exploration. We needed a modest land-craft we can tote around, from place to place, as needed by the environment. Our family has always tried to have such a "safety net"; but, never to use like this. Believing in the Angel of Joy, we've always named such craft. Our last such vehicle was dubbed the "USS Homer." Our family of five made a couple of transition aboard the good craft "Homer" totaling some two years.

Our mission to obtain such a resource was no less daunting than the challenges Columbus faced, honestly. We tried like hell to make this "stepping stone" happen, to no avail. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong in spectacular ways. Everyone said no.... Hell no!

Well, ok.  When I was a kid, my dad alway told me " Son, there is more than one way to skin a cat." I've never had to skin a cat; however, I knew what he meant. Repaginate; start over with a clear vision of the fulfilled need and then imagine all the ways to get there. We adapted our "need" concept by adding the "less is more" component to the mix. We found the least expensive fixer-upper craft, that when fixed up, would fulfill our needs.

After several months of research, shopping and defining our resources, we pulled it off. With a little help from our friends, the required craft manifested. We were able to make it road safe and water tight by our departure date. Multiple and significant miracles litter the path of that continuum. A heart felt thank you to all that stepped up and helped. If this venture comes to good, it will be thanks to your help and kindness.  She was christened on June 15th, the year of our lord 2012. She is the good craft "USS Allowance." She's a bit of a fixer upper. The picture below is just another metaphor.

Am I willing to put my own continuum on the line to confirm this blog's theory? The name we chose for this craft illuminates the mission. I am challenging myself to put this theory of "Allowance " to the test. What will happen if I allowed the "Now" environment in which I place myself to articulate how I serve that environment with my presence?

It's not surrender. This blog asserts that in the construction of the "Now," experience can only be effected by vetoing alone. Intention has very little if anything to do with it. Surrender implies, in my mind, that one has some awareness that they magnanimously acquiesce. My research seems to indicate this awareness never exists in "Now."

The challenge of "Allowance" is being patient enough to embrace the "Now" environment in stillness. To be still and listen in every way. Allowing the environment inside and out, acting as one, to become the stimuli to breath in. With air under our wings, humans can then speak or dance in any number of ways.  This challenge is to allow the environment to fill my being with movement and sound; instead of trying to impose my story driven continuums on the environment. Both strength and courage are required to simply breath and let go. Let go...... Set sail... and set sail we did.

Surrender is exciting like a roller coster. Its path is predetermined and you pretty well know the ride is going to end somewhere soon. No compass required. Allowance is exciting like going out sailing in the Pacific Ocean in your little 23' craft so far out to sea that you cannot see land and the fog sets in.

The first step ended up being three months, wilderness living in the forests of Southern Oregon. This time seemed to desensitize and ground. Coming to town once or twice a week for supplies and CrossFit workout. The Supreme Commander and I took the CrossFit at a pace and it was very helpful in each of our individual journeys on our own path toward wellness.

This time has been restorative and allowed time and space to sort on every level. I not only sorted my trade tools, but also the tools enumerated in a small way by this blog effort.

Batteries, oil hurricane lanterns and propane fulfilled all our power needs. A sweet Cascade mountain spring, flowing with nothing nature didn't give it served our water needs. The bands of the Milky Way filled the moonless night sky. In the light of day, one question: how do I best serve "Now."


The Supreme Commander returned to her base of operations. It's conveniently on the coast where she serves a fresh batch of students. They are very lucky to have her. The next leg of this journey, by must needs requires me operate our craft solo. This grows the challenge on many levels. Separate but together, alone but not: I hear the song of her voice in the symphony of night sounds. Together with the Supreme Commander for some thirty plus years and we were never more than a stones through apart. This is a very different time. Her mission was clear and her journey provided her a destination and specific mission unique to her. My journey has not yet allowed me a destination. I am not yet tasked with a mission beyond allowing my best to serve the "Now" I occupy.
 
At sea alone on the "USS Allowance," I find it my job to occupy the crow's nest much of the time. Up here you can see more; more of the same thing. The radius is larger; however, it is the horizon nonetheless. Adrift now for months, familiar patterns of behavior begin to melt away. Good choices are clear and bad choices are glaring. Fears overcome my "story mind" in the quiet and lonely times. A powerful fear, fed by the expectations overflowing from my belief systems. (See post 3-7-12) The stories that once were predicate to my every painful step have steadily and utterly changed. What "must needs" should guide my path forward?

Alone at sea for a while "Now," the word filled story storms of my mind are beginning to subside. From shapeless fears, patterns begin to form. When my stories let go of my "Now," knowing gave ways to the stillness. The stillness to perceive what was there all along. That is the power of allowance. We are not conscious of what we are not conscious of. The stars are indeed on the other side of the storms clouds, hidden from our eyes; yet ever present in the "Now," whether we know it or not.

When one charts a course, the destination is a convenient piece of information. Without this set of coordinates, navigation becomes driven by environmental forces that have nothing to do with where you are going.

There are objectives found in travel beyond getting from point -A- to point -B-. The creative art of allowance indicates the path and the outcome best serving the "Now" environment. "Now" seems to be the intersection of all the potential universes. All outcomes seem to be present in the "Now" and all potential pathways begin in the "Now."

The gift given by the journey of allowance is this, the universe brings the destinations to you.

The very core of my being is challenged by this venture of "Allowance." One thing is clear, whether I choose, intend, surrender or allow; my experience is what I do with what happens. This has to do with the nature of my being at "Now." Present at "Now" are all of the non-conscious programs that defines my character. This study seems to indicate that, the only influence I have over the initiation of any continuum in time/space is to veto. The initiation temporally occurs before we are aware of its existence. All of the elements that are predicate to my veto power are present at "Now." I am present at "Now." The one component not present at "Now" is consciousness. (See post Oct 27, 2011) The initiation of any intention or action temporally occurs before we are aware of its existence.

I allow the flow of the environment to integrate with the true nature of my "Now" being.

Does imposing on "Now" even work or does "Now" express us?  No matter how our stories, belief systems and fears alter our perceptions, just beyond the veil of this self-imposed illusion, life is found.

Tools from this leg of the journey:

                                                        Be...
                                           Let go of being Offended,
                                              Let go of Win & Lose
                                                  Let go of Right & Wrong
                                                     Let go of Superiority
                                                         Let go of More
                                                            Let go of Achievement
                                                                Let go of Reputation
                                                                   Let go of Fear
                                   Conserve your veto with all your courage and strength    
                                                                           Allow Now to be...
                                                                                     Be.